HIP-HOPCRISY through the eyes of a 9 year old

           Born backstage of a Craig RS Mack 10 concert. Jazzy Ray embodies all that is classic hip-hop.

          I'd like you all to meet young Jazzy Ray.  He's a 9 year old with a love for  hip-hop that is unrivaled. His keen sense of self is only overshadowed by his lack of understanding for all things common.  Join Jazzy Ray as he alerts the world to all of the hipocrisy that he is witnessing as hip-hop transforms around him.  

     The only constant is change... Poor Jazzy Ray will just have to figure this out for himself.

His life is a constant argument as he tries desperately to explain to the most colorful characters, in the world of hip-hop how, how they and their peers have desperately gone wrong.

Black Bastard A.K.A., B.B.

             This is a journal post.  This will be less about my writing endeavors and more about my personal struggle with accepting the life I was born into, who I am, and sculpting the TraMaine. That you all have grown to love.

        I can't express to you how much this will not be typical.  This will not be structured and it will most likely make you feel things you'd rather not feel when casually enjoying your day.

                                   **WARNING**  **WARNING**  **WARNING**

This post is not for the faint of heart, the weary but for those who have had struggles, heartache, loss loved ones, and lived to tell the tale.

                    I am a black bastard.... 

bas·tard

 [bas-terd] Show IPA

noun

1.a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child.

2. Slang a.) a vicious, despicable, or thoroughly disliked person: 

                         Example: Some bastard slashed the tires on my car.

              b.) a person, especially a man: 

                         Example: The poor bastard broke his leg.

3. something irregular, inferior, spurious, or unusual.

 

 

spu·ri·ous

 [spyoor-ee-uhs] Show IPA

adjective

1.

not genuine, authentic, or true; not from the claimed, pretended, or proper source; counterfeit.

2.

Biology . (of two or more parts, plants, etc.) having a similar appearance but a different structure.

3.

of illegitimate birth; bastard.

 

 The above definition is what is used on a daily basis to describe people.  The definition is.  I mean it just like that.  The definition is.  It exists and it applies because we make it so.  No matter how much I tell myself that I am not a bastard or spurious in nature.  I am... I just am.   Albeit no fault of my own, all the same I was born into a stigma that has been unacceptable and deemed unclean since the beginning of human society.

Unlimited and Willing

          I have to add this post because I have recently embarked on a new journey.  After 10 years I have decided to enroll back into college and attain that degree I never thought I wanted or needed.  Yeah, it sucks to have to suck up and bite the bullet and eat the words that you once proclaimed so proudly. "I don't need to go to school for what I want to do. I have a natural God given talent for this." 

          Yeah, you can gasp. No I didn't actually say it but in my heart I know I thought it on more than one occasion.  Then as life progressed and I saw the world changing around me and my "God given talent" staring me square in the face as I stood in my bathroom mirror, in a house that I rent. I decided if the world is changing and my talents are not allowing me to change with it, something must not be as I expected.  What could it be?  It certainly isn't the world, its changing constantly. So it must be me.  Then one day while at work. I was watching Denzel Washington on CNN and I heard him tell a story about when he was a child on the Boys and Girls Club of America track team in his local neighborhood.   To make a long story short he said that he was fourth on the team and a new kid came that was faster than him. This kid being faster made him nervous about his position on the relay team.  His coach told him something that inspired him as well as me.  I had been thinking it but couldn't quite grasp the concept until I heard it made plane.  His coach told him, "Yes, Denzel, he is faster than you but he doesn't know how to pass the baton.  Natural talent will only get you so far."  Denzel went on to explain how this stuck with him and pushed him to go into acting in college and continue the honing of his craft well into his acting career.   

          A light bulb went off, the heavens parted, angels melodious voices sang down as I realized I had the talent, the imagination, the drive, and the desire.  But there are skills one can only acquire through higher education. 

 All of that being said, I am now enrolled as a student at Full Sail University currently seeking a Creative Writing Bachelor of Fine Arts.  I have completed the first month and must say I did rather well. I received an "A" on every assignment. Now I anxiously await this second month to come.

I have seemingly effortlessly learned a great many things over the past month.  This college experience is something I bailed on and can't say that I regret for one second. But I do appreciate this second opportunity I have been afforded.  I have a belief that my potential is unlimited and I am certainly willing to test this theory.  I've yet to be proven wrong.  I have however realized my potential while unlimited is only limited when I chose not to pursue.